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llucii listens to... ::
Suzanne Vega's...
...Caramel
Who am I kidding?
I should have joined the circus when I had the chance.
Where were they when I needed them?
I think they were hiding behind the wardrobe door.
You took my photo and didn't even ask.
I cried, godammit. Were you pretending to look back?
I let the sand go. It slipped through my fingers and sailed the North Wind.
My heart is happy and my mind's a wreck.
Too much.
Como agora?
Epicurus says there is nothing to fear about death. Jimi says:
You know what I say?
Be patient, My Dharamsala...
black llucii at 7:36:00 pm In the event that you have also forsaken everything you have always defended to seek your perfect rose, you might understand what I am about to confide in you:
It hurts.
It shreds you to the bone and tests every limitation. It unravels all your carefully planned and constructed beliefs and tears down your walls of strength. You find yourself paralyzed, groping desperately in the dark for something that isn't going to be there... yet. Its dark, dank but strangely perfumed. You might find the scents reminiscent of the fragrances of an Arabia you have always fantasized about but never beheld... until now. Or is it?
Your resolution is shaken over and over again. You try very hard to remember your course but sometimes you forget. What do the double rainbows really mean? Are they just accidental lovings, or have you read them right? Your tarots are scrambled and you know not how to play them anymore. The only thing you know with certainty is that you're The Fool. (pray, where is my dog?)
You have chosen to be alone. You rejoiced. You cried. You accepted. And your Winds picked up.
But now the calm. Before the storm, or after? I know not. You tell yourself you cannot see what's in the fog until you are closer. But old habits die hard. You tighten your reins and try to curb your curiosity. It killed the cat. Thrice or more before... before you blinded yourself.
But you've bestowed sight back to yourself and you know the birth of your heart will come soon. Just a matter of time. Be patient.
You light the cigarette as a test of your will, and oddly, it unveils new knowledge. You see it now. Let it come, they say, and embrace it. Accept that it has come but do not hold on to it. Let it pass when it has to and accept when it comes again. Everything is empty afterall.
I am afraid that I have become stronger. I don't know what to do with it. I thought this is what I wanted. No, this is what I wanted.
The tremors of my fingers. The wisps of stale smoke. The wretching stench of a diseased past. But the Flower... and now also the Fragrance.
What now?
Sit back and be glazed over, you wanting eyes. Sit back in the dark, and let the light in your lifeless eyes be your only illumination.
black llucii at 3:31:00 pm
I should have joined the circus when I had the chance.
Where were they when I needed them?
I think they were hiding behind the wardrobe door.
Looking at you through the cracks.
And you sat in the corner staring back.
You took my photo and didn't even ask.
I cried, godammit. Were you pretending to look back?
I let the sand go. It slipped through my fingers and sailed the North Wind.
My heart is happy and my mind's a wreck.
You said... you said... you said...
Too much.
Como agora?
Epicurus says there is nothing to fear about death. Jimi says:
The story
of life is quicker
than the wink of an eye
The story of love
is hello and goodbye
Until we meet again
of life is quicker
than the wink of an eye
The story of love
is hello and goodbye
Until we meet again
You know what I say?
A felicidade e como a gota
de orvalho numa petala de flor
Brilha tranquila depois de leve oscila
e cai como uma lagrima de amor
de orvalho numa petala de flor
Brilha tranquila depois de leve oscila
e cai como uma lagrima de amor
Be patient, My Dharamsala...
black llucii at 7:36:00 pm In the event that you have also forsaken everything you have always defended to seek your perfect rose, you might understand what I am about to confide in you:
It hurts.
It shreds you to the bone and tests every limitation. It unravels all your carefully planned and constructed beliefs and tears down your walls of strength. You find yourself paralyzed, groping desperately in the dark for something that isn't going to be there... yet. Its dark, dank but strangely perfumed. You might find the scents reminiscent of the fragrances of an Arabia you have always fantasized about but never beheld... until now. Or is it?
Your resolution is shaken over and over again. You try very hard to remember your course but sometimes you forget. What do the double rainbows really mean? Are they just accidental lovings, or have you read them right? Your tarots are scrambled and you know not how to play them anymore. The only thing you know with certainty is that you're The Fool. (pray, where is my dog?)
You have chosen to be alone. You rejoiced. You cried. You accepted. And your Winds picked up.
But now the calm. Before the storm, or after? I know not. You tell yourself you cannot see what's in the fog until you are closer. But old habits die hard. You tighten your reins and try to curb your curiosity. It killed the cat. Thrice or more before... before you blinded yourself.
But you've bestowed sight back to yourself and you know the birth of your heart will come soon. Just a matter of time. Be patient.
You light the cigarette as a test of your will, and oddly, it unveils new knowledge. You see it now. Let it come, they say, and embrace it. Accept that it has come but do not hold on to it. Let it pass when it has to and accept when it comes again. Everything is empty afterall.
I am afraid that I have become stronger. I don't know what to do with it. I thought this is what I wanted. No, this is what I wanted.
The tremors of my fingers. The wisps of stale smoke. The wretching stench of a diseased past. But the Flower... and now also the Fragrance.
What now?
Sit back and be glazed over, you wanting eyes. Sit back in the dark, and let the light in your lifeless eyes be your only illumination.
black llucii at 3:31:00 pm
drooling...
aching for life...
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