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llucii listens to... ::
Suzanne Vega's...
...Caramel
In the event that you have also forsaken everything you have always defended to seek your perfect rose, you might understand what I am about to confide in you:
It hurts.
It shreds you to the bone and tests every limitation. It unravels all your carefully planned and constructed beliefs and tears down your walls of strength. You find yourself paralyzed, groping desperately in the dark for something that isn't going to be there... yet. Its dark, dank but strangely perfumed. You might find the scents reminiscent of the fragrances of an Arabia you have always fantasized about but never beheld... until now. Or is it?
Your resolution is shaken over and over again. You try very hard to remember your course but sometimes you forget. What do the double rainbows really mean? Are they just accidental lovings, or have you read them right? Your tarots are scrambled and you know not how to play them anymore. The only thing you know with certainty is that you're The Fool. (pray, where is my dog?)
You have chosen to be alone. You rejoiced. You cried. You accepted. And your Winds picked up.
But now the calm. Before the storm, or after? I know not. You tell yourself you cannot see what's in the fog until you are closer. But old habits die hard. You tighten your reins and try to curb your curiosity. It killed the cat. Thrice or more before... before you blinded yourself.
But you've bestowed sight back to yourself and you know the birth of your heart will come soon. Just a matter of time. Be patient.
You light the cigarette as a test of your will, and oddly, it unveils new knowledge. You see it now. Let it come, they say, and embrace it. Accept that it has come but do not hold on to it. Let it pass when it has to and accept when it comes again. Everything is empty afterall.
I am afraid that I have become stronger. I don't know what to do with it. I thought this is what I wanted. No, this is what I wanted.
The tremors of my fingers. The wisps of stale smoke. The wretching stench of a diseased past. But the Flower... and now also the Fragrance.
What now?
Sit back and be glazed over, you wanting eyes. Sit back in the dark, and let the light in your lifeless eyes be your only illumination.
black llucii at 3:31:00 pm
It hurts.
It shreds you to the bone and tests every limitation. It unravels all your carefully planned and constructed beliefs and tears down your walls of strength. You find yourself paralyzed, groping desperately in the dark for something that isn't going to be there... yet. Its dark, dank but strangely perfumed. You might find the scents reminiscent of the fragrances of an Arabia you have always fantasized about but never beheld... until now. Or is it?
Your resolution is shaken over and over again. You try very hard to remember your course but sometimes you forget. What do the double rainbows really mean? Are they just accidental lovings, or have you read them right? Your tarots are scrambled and you know not how to play them anymore. The only thing you know with certainty is that you're The Fool. (pray, where is my dog?)
You have chosen to be alone. You rejoiced. You cried. You accepted. And your Winds picked up.
But now the calm. Before the storm, or after? I know not. You tell yourself you cannot see what's in the fog until you are closer. But old habits die hard. You tighten your reins and try to curb your curiosity. It killed the cat. Thrice or more before... before you blinded yourself.
But you've bestowed sight back to yourself and you know the birth of your heart will come soon. Just a matter of time. Be patient.
You light the cigarette as a test of your will, and oddly, it unveils new knowledge. You see it now. Let it come, they say, and embrace it. Accept that it has come but do not hold on to it. Let it pass when it has to and accept when it comes again. Everything is empty afterall.
I am afraid that I have become stronger. I don't know what to do with it. I thought this is what I wanted. No, this is what I wanted.
The tremors of my fingers. The wisps of stale smoke. The wretching stench of a diseased past. But the Flower... and now also the Fragrance.
What now?
Sit back and be glazed over, you wanting eyes. Sit back in the dark, and let the light in your lifeless eyes be your only illumination.
black llucii at 3:31:00 pm
drooling...
aching for life...
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.lovestruck changeling defrosting in spring's ardour.awaiting the green jelly rocket ship.3 angels in a bag & a pea in a pod.back to the moon evermore.
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