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llucii listens to... ::
Suzanne Vega's...
...Caramel
What would I do if my daughter reached out for machine guns instead of ditzy dolls? What would I do if my son would rather play tea-party with Flopsy the Bunny and Barbie, over waging wars against cyborgs with the neighbourhood hoodlums? Would I let them do as they please or would I try to encourage them to engage in play that's more appropriate to their biological stereotypes?
What would I do if my son looked at me in the eye and said that he really does prefer staying home and learning how to sew than playing rugby with his school mates? What would I say to my daughter if she wanted to be an altar server and play in the soccer team, which so far has only accepted male players? Would I buy my boy a sewing kit and throw his rugby boots away? And would I petition to the priests to let my daughter serve, or would I just hug her and tell her that such is life?
What would I do if my son started to withdraw and feel like there was something really wrong with him because he has different tendencies from the other guys in school? What if my daughter feels that she's suddenly turning into a freak and believes that nobody will ever accept her? Should I tell them that they are going through a pubescent phase that will pass, or that this is just who they are and they should embrace it? Should I tell them that gender identity is genetically predetermined but that I had tried to coax them into gender stereotypes so that they could fit in, and now I'm sorry I wasn't successful? Or should I tell them bollocks to genetic fortune telling, that they really should just accept who they are because I love them either way, and that I'm sorry that the world is going to give them a hard time as long as they don't conform?
I know what I want to do. I want to encourage them to grow into individuals with principles, morals, virtues... individuals who judge with the spirit and not the body... individuals who can discern the right from wrong, and make just decisions... individuals who embrace and accept instead of rejecting and scorning... individuals who love instead of hate... individuals with passionate hearts and peaceable minds, regardless of their sex, gender and other labels that threaten to encase them in shrouds of elusive social definitions.
But who will allow me, even if I were able to achieve such a feat? Would I allow myself to put my kids in jeopardy of facing society's cruel stones? Will others allow me to bring up my children as free spirits? To risk the pain to attain pleasure, or forget pleasure to be spared the pain? To choose the lesser of two evils, but which is the lesser?
My curse and blessing is in being a misfit... or a free spirit, as a friend once called me. Should I subject my offsprings to the same pain? Should I allow them the same pleasure?
The examples are so stereotypical they make me churn. Conjured by my readings on lectures covering Stability and Change in Self-Concept, they echo popular misconceptions (do forgive me). But hearken the real issue at hand. It is not just an issue that gender roles and identity pay painful tribute to. This is an issue of life. Everything that defines who we are, everything that doesn't... All ideals, expectations, desires... be it political, social, physical, psychological, biological, public or personal...everything is in danger, everything is an issue as long as it doesn't fit in with the normative standards.
And then... what is normal?
Even relativity is relative and non-relative all at once.
I could not have kids and forever wonder at the miracle of being a mother.
where would that leave me?
Tis easier being simple, for nothing will plague thee then.
But even then, the ignorance resounding will tear at thine hungering heart.
*sigh* Ponderings that plague at 6am. Life will be alot easier just keeping a dog.
But even then, the government won't let me keep a Mastiff without burning a hole in my pocket.
Oh! the ache from this muzzle and bridle bit...
llucii listens to...:: Lovage's Strangers On A Train
black llucii at 7:24:00 am
What would I do if my son looked at me in the eye and said that he really does prefer staying home and learning how to sew than playing rugby with his school mates? What would I say to my daughter if she wanted to be an altar server and play in the soccer team, which so far has only accepted male players? Would I buy my boy a sewing kit and throw his rugby boots away? And would I petition to the priests to let my daughter serve, or would I just hug her and tell her that such is life?
What would I do if my son started to withdraw and feel like there was something really wrong with him because he has different tendencies from the other guys in school? What if my daughter feels that she's suddenly turning into a freak and believes that nobody will ever accept her? Should I tell them that they are going through a pubescent phase that will pass, or that this is just who they are and they should embrace it? Should I tell them that gender identity is genetically predetermined but that I had tried to coax them into gender stereotypes so that they could fit in, and now I'm sorry I wasn't successful? Or should I tell them bollocks to genetic fortune telling, that they really should just accept who they are because I love them either way, and that I'm sorry that the world is going to give them a hard time as long as they don't conform?
I know what I want to do. I want to encourage them to grow into individuals with principles, morals, virtues... individuals who judge with the spirit and not the body... individuals who can discern the right from wrong, and make just decisions... individuals who embrace and accept instead of rejecting and scorning... individuals who love instead of hate... individuals with passionate hearts and peaceable minds, regardless of their sex, gender and other labels that threaten to encase them in shrouds of elusive social definitions.
But who will allow me, even if I were able to achieve such a feat? Would I allow myself to put my kids in jeopardy of facing society's cruel stones? Will others allow me to bring up my children as free spirits? To risk the pain to attain pleasure, or forget pleasure to be spared the pain? To choose the lesser of two evils, but which is the lesser?
My curse and blessing is in being a misfit... or a free spirit, as a friend once called me. Should I subject my offsprings to the same pain? Should I allow them the same pleasure?
The examples are so stereotypical they make me churn. Conjured by my readings on lectures covering Stability and Change in Self-Concept, they echo popular misconceptions (do forgive me). But hearken the real issue at hand. It is not just an issue that gender roles and identity pay painful tribute to. This is an issue of life. Everything that defines who we are, everything that doesn't... All ideals, expectations, desires... be it political, social, physical, psychological, biological, public or personal...everything is in danger, everything is an issue as long as it doesn't fit in with the normative standards.
And then... what is normal?
Even relativity is relative and non-relative all at once.
I could not have kids and forever wonder at the miracle of being a mother.
where would that leave me?
Tis easier being simple, for nothing will plague thee then.
But even then, the ignorance resounding will tear at thine hungering heart.
*sigh* Ponderings that plague at 6am. Life will be alot easier just keeping a dog.
But even then, the government won't let me keep a Mastiff without burning a hole in my pocket.
Oh! the ache from this muzzle and bridle bit...
llucii listens to...:: Lovage's Strangers On A Train
black llucii at 7:24:00 am
drooling...
aching for life...
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